Sorry long time no post. I've just not had anything to blog about lately. I haven't had the motivation either until today. This post is kind of heavy but important for me to write out my thoughts.
As I've talked about a little on here, I've got an upcoming job possibility. Well let me fill you in so that this post makes more since. I worked at the Georgia Sea Turtle Center (GSTC) on Jekyll Island in South Georgia 2 summers ago. While I was there I absolutely loved it. Towards the end of the summer though I was ready to just come home because I learned that my dad had Skin Cancer, melanoma on his ear. I was terrified that I was going to lose my dad and I couldn't stand to be that far away from my family anymore. I would've loved to stay in Georgia working with the sea turtles and great friends but I knew home was calling. So I went home.
Fast forward to now, well I've applied to go back and work at the GSTC for a full year in the Education department. Ever since I've been home, I've missed living in Georgia so much and working for a great facility just needed to happen again. I went back there in February for the First Ever Southwestern Sea Turtle Conference. I had an amazing time and it reminded me why I loved that place. All the staff told me they would love me to come back and I was so happy to hear that. I had no idea what I was going to do when I got back home after the conference because I needed to find a job.
Well while there I was offered a Substitute Instructional Assistant position with my local school district. I was very excited and nervous at the same time. Almost right off the bat though, I loved being with the kids and the adults that I worked with gave me lots of encouraging words that I was a natural and was doing great. There were some tough days as I worked with Special Education children but I loved it. Even those hard days, I still felt accomplished. But as time passed in the school year I just started having a hard time.
I was having a difficult time knowing that my heart was not in the right place with this job. I loved teaching and I knew that part was right but I was missing the sea turtle/marine life aspect. I have a Bachelors in Marine Science and a Bachelors in Psychology but the marine science part is where my heart lies. I wanted to be able to tie those two topics together.
So one day I saw that the GSTC opened their Education Department position and I didn't even hesitate. I applied right away. I felt like it was a sign that it was supposed to happen. I've told people that I am going back in hopes that I am going back. I had all the confidence in the world that I was going to be going back up until about a week ago.
I have been starting to second guess whether getting this position is going to happen. I'm worried that, what if everyone said apply but then they get far greater applicants than myself and they don't take me back. Then what? What if they truely didn't want me back and just said that while I was there? Then What? Then what, is that I would be absolutely crushed to my core. I feel like it's so right for me to be there but what if He doesn't want me there? What if that's not His plan for me?
I have been following Church of the Highlands iphone app's Daily Devotionals (which I found via Angela). The other day there was a perfect devotional that just spoke to me...
Sorry I don't know how to do that fancy highlighting thing where you select just the part you want to show
"There is an exact place where God wants us to be so He can sustain and bless us."
This just spoke to me. However I have no idea where He wants me to be. That's totally in His hands and I trust Him. However, I am scared. Is that normal to be scared of what He has ahead? I am sort of new to the whole faith thing (that's a whole other post in itself). I just have to trust that eventhough I am nervous, there is a place that He wants me. Whereever that may be I sure hope that I am happy and that I gain all His many blessings He has in store for me. I'm just hopeful to learn my fate sooner rather than later.
Love,
Heather
Great, great, GREAT post. Trusting in His plan is not easy, and being scared about going into the unknown is completely normal. I think that anyone who has decided to follow God's plan for their life who says that they aren't scared at times is lying. Commit your plans to the Lord, and you will succeed, whether that puts you where you wanted to be in the first place or somewhere even better. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Angela. It's defanitely not easy but I know it's what I have to do. It's all in His hands as I know He has a plan for me :)
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